1.) lacking the ability to grow a full beard would be considered sexy
2.) the courthouse, not the church, would be considered the most judgmental place in the world.
3.) wedding cakes would taste as delicious as they look.
4.) I wouldn't hear car doors locking whenever I walk out into parking lots.
5.) the cure to cancer would be cheesecake.
6.) ice cream trucks would take debit cards.
7.) mean and impatient drivers wouldn't have the christian fish symbol on the back of their car.
8.) my 2 year old blackberry would posses all the capabilities of an iPhone
9.) radio stations wouldn't take your favorite song and play it so much that you eventually want to stab yourself at the thought of the song.
10.) street signs would be the size of billboards so people wouldn't have to cause a fifteen car pile up after realizing they've almost missed their turn.
11.) all water fountains would come equipped with an ice blue raspberry lemonade kool-aid option
12.) people wouldn't be able to count the number of friends they have of a different race than themselves.
13.) Will Smith would've never agreed to do 'Wild Wild West'
14.) if you had an upset stomach, you could use the bathroom at someone else's house without worrying about the toilet getting clogged.
15.) all little children would have a thick southern accent.
16.) Nemo's mother wouldn't have died.
17.) nap time would be incorporated into every person's work day.
18.) a grown man could go to a restaurant and order a glass of apple juice without his manhood being questioned.
19.) I'd get a dollar for every time Obama said "uhh" in a speech.
20.) people could be imprisoned for not washing their hands after using the bathroom.
21.) June 24th would be considered a national holiday in honor of the release date of the greatest animated movie of all time: The Lion King
22.) kids in elementary school wouldn't own iPhones.
23.) everyone would get a second chance at a first impression.
24.) 'Roots' would be required reading in every school system.
25.) GloZelle would be banned from YouTube.
26.) all farts would be silent and have a french vanilla scent.
27.) Stevie Wonder would sing at my wedding.
28.) Will Smith would've won an Oscar by now.
29.) you'd be able to use a gas station bathroom without feeling like you're going to catch an STD.
30.) cantaloupe would be in season year-around.
31.) christians would be the best tippers at restaurants.
32.) every gym would come equipped with an emergency case of rocks that could be used to stone any individual who decided to yell while they lift weights.
33.) we'd finally know the truth about what Rihanna did to piss Chris Brown off that much.
34.) we wouldn't trust technology.
35.) people on American Idol would actually be able to sing.
36.) out of shape people wouldn't wear Under Armour
37.) everyone in the world would have a family and a girlfriend as amazing as my own.
38.) O.J. didn't do it.
39.) kids in elementary/middle school wouldn't be more knowledgeable about sex and drugs than most adults.
40.) I'd be doing something much more productive with my time than making this ridiculous list.
41.) I would live within walking distance of Wet n' Wild Emerald Pointe Water Park.
42.) friends who haven't talked to you in years wouldn't call you just because they need something.
43.) David Edwards would be our fearless leader, and married to the most beautiful princess in all the land.
44.) I could fill up my gas tank on hopes and dreams.
45.) a news station could make it through an entire broadcast without one piece of negative news.
46.) my white friends wouldn't turn to me and say "no offense" before they're about to complain about Tyler Perry.
47.) the line "you got an angel with you right now" would be used as a comforting tool before every colon exam.
48.) people would stop taking farmers for granted.
49.) a child leash would've never been invented.
50.) my first kiss wouldn't have been with braces.
51.) black people would make it to the end of a horror movie.... or at the very least, have a role other than 'comedic relief'
52.) "man" and "perm" would never be used in the same sentence.
53.) you could smile at random people without gettting the 'stank eye'.
54.) one of my friends would've given me footie pajamas for christmas.
55.) we'd finally find that deserted island where Tupac has been hiding out.
56.) people wouldn't use vague and depressing facebook statuses whenever they wanted someone to ask them how they're doing.
57.) every other song on the radio wouldn't be talking about all the ways some dude is going to take your girl.
58.) bubble baths would take place EVERY night.
59.) random movie knowledge would actually be useful in life.
60.) people wouldn't ride their bikes in the middle of the street.
61.) you could walk into a Wal-mart, buy exactly what you came to get and nothing else.
62.) a person could sneeze while driving without having to worry about losing their life.
63.) finding out if a girl was interested would always be as simple as the elementary classic checkbox "yes" or "no".
64.) there would've been a class in college that teaches guys how to walk like Denzel Washington.
65.) candy stores would adopt the pizza shop delivery option.
66.) Hollywood wouldn't be obsessed with making 3D movies.
67.) everybody would have a neighbor like Wilson from 'Home Improvement'.
68.) Michael Cain and Morgan Freeman would have a t.v. show where they did nothing but read bed time stories every night.
69.) we'd all be able to live on what we NEED and not what we WANT.
70.) I would own a pet lion.
71.) TBS wouldn't have sold its soul to Tyler Perry.
72.) people would care about humans more than animals.
73.) Tina would've never met Ike.
74.) News channels wouldn't treat Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton as the representatives for the entire black race.
75.) a pair of Jordans wouldn't be considered more valuable than someone's life.
76.) the 'LOST' franchise would pay me a commission for all the free advertising I've done for their organization.
77.) learning Martial Arts would be as simple as it was in 'The Matrix'.
78.) you wouldn't be able to count on your hands the number of teachers in your life that actually had a passion for teaching.
79.) everyone would be able to do the job they love.
80.) you would never get cold fries from McDonald's.
81.) you'd always be able to find your car keys.
82.) whenever people would ask "how are you doing?", they would actually care about the answer.
83.) Facebook game requests would've never been created.
84.) Chinese food would keep your stomach full for longer than half an hour.
85.) Pixar would be capable of putting out a new movie every month.
86.) you could have a personal photographer that would follow you around to capture all the special moments in your life.
87.) Dr. Pepper would have the exact same nutritional value as water.
88.) nobody would send an "ok" text message
89.) Steroids would be legalized in baseball, just to make things interesting.
90.) Christopher Nolan would announce that he's making at least ten more batman films.
